Nooj

Between my shadow and my soul

Do we get what we take or do we take what we get? (Ala Daniel Francois)? A Confusing Call

These are the conversations that could be avoided by nicotine-induced mini-euphorias. I don't smoke, you see. That's why there are these tricky questions itching up and down my cortical wiring. Only one answer: It just feels right. No postgrad theorems or corollaries or freaking citations. Just a simple plea to my inborn insticts. That my Musallah (prayer mat), my hijab (head covering), my beautiful intonations in Arabic, they all feel right, like this is what I'm supposed to be. Yes I will admit it is a question of identity, of things stirred up in my mother's body before my conception and every second thereafter. Yes that is not very convincing, a social psychologist will say, this is just a simple function of the human need to belong. And so I internalise these things because I want to belong. I do want to believe there's more. I do feel a universal truth here. But I cannot promise more rationale or logic or evidence. There are scientists who have proven these things over and over, but for now. I pray that if I had been born in a different era, in a different caste, in a different faith, my Path would lead to total Submission to the Mighty Power- in other words Islam. This is all for now.

2 shared ideas:

Azra May 26, 2009 at 9:11 AM  

I can relate to this alot. Even when I'm at my most conflictenest, its the one thing I know for sure.

I believe that I'm muslim beyond race, age, gender, ethnicity. My Soul is Muslim. I was Muslim before I was even declared to be female.

I know what science and psychology says, and some of it may even make sense...but Islam explains so much more. And just like you said. It just feels right.

Nooj May 28, 2009 at 11:39 AM  

Fitrah is a gift :)
Wish u were joining us all in durbs this weekend!