Between my shadow and my soul

Until the Rope rips through my Skin

Looking back at the events of today feel like watching a movie.

Visiting the extended family with gifts of dates and catching up on stories.
Smiles and laughter- the spirit of Ramadhan
Children running in the park- all excited for the coming celebrations
Reacquainting with the first juz- familiar grooves beckoned
The silvery dust of Taraweeh, among old travellers
The victory of having the first juz and a quarter accomplished
And then

Just when your popcorn becomes more interesting than the plot....

The Cavernous Split
Faces filled with horror
Phone lines vibrating with shock
A plummetting realization
The "Was Wasa" have struck

May God (Glory be to Him) save us all

At 4am on the windy morning on the 1st of September, the siren announcing the beginning of the blessed month of Ramadhaan rang through the streets of Laudium. The evil whisperings of discord were momentarily silenced in the rush of housewives to fry express rotis at last minute notice. For now the Ummah is engaged in the usual riffery of 8 raka'ah duas and beards, ankles and household furniture. And so may it carry on. I am not looking forward to a sequel.

Red Magic

In your Eyes
My heartbeats were
As mercury in a thin tube

____ ing
__ ar
P l
__u m m
______e t t i n g

An affirmation of your presence,
is all.

Belittled Youth

The runny chocolate in dipped chokits
The aroma of grass in your hair
Or freshly baked bread or crisp fajr air
The melted caramel deep in a sundae
Sprinklers on a blistering summer’s day
Sweet Ice down your throat at iftaar
Many many layers of my Id
Waiting for the Shade of His pleasure

Inspiration here

Get them Axes! Oops this is SA, how about a bag of hangers?

20 virtual coolness points to whoever deciphers the "Axes" reference in the title...

It's been a long, wow, year of firsts. To add to this, this is the first year I am taking complete responsibility of my duty to my Creator to disperse the wealth He has blessed me with. According to Zakaah experts, it is firstly an act of an Ibaadah as, 28 out of the 30 times it is mentioned in the Qur'an it is mentioned in conjunction with another compulsory act of Ibaadah, Salaah.

Everything in this post is mostly what I learnt in a pre-Ramadhan Zakaah seminar today.

I leant that once you have acquired a certain minimum amount of wealth known as Nisaab, it is your God-given responsibility to care for those who do noty have as much as you. I learnt that Zakaah can be distributed in several ways and we should be striving for exellence in the use of this beautiful tool. I learnt that there were 2 periods in Islamic history where the Islamic economy and Zakaah system were functioning so well that there were no poor to distribute Zakaah amongst.

There are 8 categories of people who are eligible to receive Zakaah, and we need to take this into a contemporary perspective. For example, there is a category called "Fir riqab" which means those in bondage, or captive. To me, this would mean for example using Zakaah money to hire lawyers to plead the case of those in Guantanamo Bay. However, the Malaysian government uses part of the one eighth allocated for this category to rehabilitate prostitutes, using the logic that they have become captive of their circumstances. The breadth of the impact of this social system does astound me at its healing potential.

The specifics of Zakaah calculation although superficially complex, seem to me very logical in their application. The most important part of course is your pure Niyyah to fulfill your obligation. It saddens me at how people believe that they can cut corners in this duty when from a spiritual and material lens, the more you open your fist, the more delectables it contains (S.2 V. 261).

What is left for me to decide is how exactly to distribute this money that Allah has given me to help my people. The easiest and most fail-safe it seems is to give it to a respectable organisation like Sanzaf who is transparent about how they use the money. Or I could use it for the upliftment of a needy community, through empowerment projects. I could also simply give food and clothes to the less fortunate but that is contrary to the "Axes" principle I believe in. I could use it to pay for someone's school or university fees, if they are eligible or many other noble endeavours that are sanctioned and encouraged by Shari'ah. How are you planning to utilise this blessing and duty?

Arrival of Snarling, Raw meat chewing Nooj

Right now I'm the type of angry that could cause me to swing a samurai sword firmly with both pairs of triceps strengthened by making pizza dough. Swing it through the neck of this monster and cut it clean off and then yes burn this head in slick black oil. Jesus will appreciate me on his team.

We went for a comedy show this evening at my alma mater. I love live shows, theatre, sports events, parades, anything that I experience in the moment.

It was horrific.

The ampitheatre was packed to capacity with students. And they all laughed. Since when did inserting "Fuck" and "you ma se poes" in every sentence become hilarious? Joined with blatant racist jokes such as white people rot after 75 (accompanied with raucous laughter) as well as constant outright explicit (this tautology is for emphasis) references to sex.

These were comedians that I have heard in other settings as pretty funny. But they danced to their audience's whoops and so defiled their profession.

These are students who have fell into the slick black oil that is their current dominant discourse- of clubbing and house parties and drinking and promiscuity. Our future, bright as a used condom.

I do have the ability to influence these students in my current capacity. It is just that after an experience like this I feel so very demotivated.

Hamish Bandwagon

Jarred Apology

Mixture of camphor, masala and lime
Pristines you for a journey sublime

Bending Lines

The following lines by Abu 'Ali ad-Daqqaq strike a chord currently:

"Each day that passes, a portion of me it takes away,
On the heart, a bitter taste it leaves, and then glides away."

Yes enchanted has bewitched my poetry reading:)
So much has changed in the past 4 centuries, 4 days, hours, months; for me, for you, for all of us.
I look at my student card of the cute girl with rosy cheeks and I want to laugh with her, tell her you don't know what's coming but you will enjoy it. I think I am at the age where I still have so much to look forward to. What about those parents who have lost children, what future do they anticipate? Or is life for them as it was for Macbeth, a reel of endless, haunting tomorrows?

Loss has fascinated humans for forever, because we hold on. It is the nature of this earth, we want to create, we forget that the energy balance is constant, newton's 3rd law as goldmimbar told me recently. Al-Kindi, one of the first psychologists said, "if we do not tolerate losing or dislike being deprived of what is dear to us, then we should seek after riches in the world of the intellect. In it we should treasure our precious and cherished gains where they can never be dispossessed…for that which is owned by our senses could easily be taken away from us". The psychodynamic movement in psychology was just an echo of Al-Kindi, where depression is seen as inner grieving for an object that has been lost: a breast, a teddybear, a loving caress.

I also fear loss. Baghdad is gone, erupted in fumes of self-aggrandisement and lack of pre-emptive action by Muslims to preserve our heritage. This is one of the reasons I yearn to study in Syria, it is one of the few places left where one retains the wisom of the ages. In its atmosphere, the bazaars, far away from the dreaded mass production gallows of Mr. Price, Edgars and Woolworths, leave you with a sense of delight as you search for treasures. I am a scavenger when shopping. I look through that which everyone else has discarded and create something. Um, I digress.

The only way, I believe, to counter loss is to seek it. Give of that which you want, says Deepak Chopra. It sounds crazy and illogical but there is some attraction to it. The hadith that says that no day should be the same as the following confirms this. The less mice the eagle keeps in its talons as it ascends, the faster it reaches a better destination.


Boys like greasy burgers
Sauntering with sauciness,
Flaunt their floppy lettuce,
Slime your lips and
Leave a taste that itches
Of thirsty regret


There you are
Hiding between cursive lines
And tennis biscuit-coffee cereal.
Please turn around,
Your shoulder blades trembling
From your adventure self-destructing.
Blink away your fear
Believe in me
I remember, there is more......