Between my shadow and my soul

Love is Like Cholera

For me, like always stayed like. It meant covert glances and hyperactive stomach prixies, and that was it. In school, there were close calls, when a guy I liked talking to started phoning or smsing but my elder sisters were always on it and I didn't mind, what was the point anyways? At uni I was too busy deciding what I wanted and trying to save the world one poster and exec meeting at a time. I was comfortable with going out with friends but wouldn't spend hours chilling in coffee shops getting to know people. Not that any of this matters according to Taqdeer. But I have been accused of not helping taqdeer out. By people who have obviously never met her. She's the one that made the word bitch a compliment, a sassy Sister to be reckoned with and envied and never lets you down. I don't mind all of this. What I do mind is when i do move a toe's measure towards feeding the pixies, I end up regretting it for ages afterwards. At the end of it all, I feel like I've just retched out my intestines in a toilet bowl and am too exhausted to fight or care any more. Maybe there's something amiss in my personality or God didn't feel like setting my browser on default but never in the history of Nooj has she been attracted to and understood by the same dude. I've accepted it. I like being the Other Joosub girl that didn't marry young and have (alhumdulillah) amazingly gorgeous kids. The only one that "studied" (spit quickly so this doesn't befall your daughter). And I'd rather enjoy the potheadedness of weed if I fancy pixies in my stomach. Those who are close to me and love me, say no, Allah has a zawjah (pair) for everyone. I interpret that verse of the Qur'an as he created man and woman in general as pairs, Marriage is not destined for everyone despite its revered significance as a social institution. They cannot imagine me happy without the fairytales of the other half. I side with Foucalt on this one. The other half is just the parts of me I still have to discover.

17 shared ideas:

Azra January 7, 2009 at 9:20 PM  

Oh Noorjehan...the problem with people is how they define happiness. And unfortunately, we live in a world where happiness is getting married. Ironically, ask any married person what he/she thinks and most of them are miserable.

I'm tired of fighting this battle. And I won't anymore. I refuse. My broswer is set on a template that I feel no one understands...and the font is in Greek.

I'm not closed off to the possibility and would welcome it if it ever arose, but I'm tired of giving frogs air time when clearly, theres no prince or even duke in sight.

Instead, I will be happy for simple things...I have my feet and the means to travel - something I really love doing. I have my mind and I can study and enhance who I already am. My happiness also comes from knowing people like you.

Love is not an exclusive emotion that only exists between a man and a exists in kinship, friendships, between parents and their children, nieces and nephews etc. Sure we all want to buy into the fairytale sometimes, to be loved...and we all vy for those pre-conceived idealistic notions of love that we've been fed since the dawn of time...because we are made to think or believe that there is something wrong with us/ we are failures if it doesnt happen...but I agree with you, maybe its not for all of us.

I'm content with where I am, Alhamdulilla, and I'm grateful. Besides, I dont want to become another statistic.

Now, if everyone would just back off eh? :D

Taqdeer still reigns.

Khadija January 7, 2009 at 10:36 PM  

The I in this post could so easily be me. As long as we're not married society will always see us as bereft of something. How do we set our own standard's when society's standards are etched in stone?

I've got Qabbani poetry on my mind:

When a man is in love
how can he use old words?
Should a woman
desiring her lover
lie down with
grammarians and linguists?

I said nothing
to the woman I loved
but gathered
love's adjectives into a suitcase
and fled from all languages.

Nizar Qabbani

The Blogger sometimes known as Singleguy January 7, 2009 at 11:10 PM  

Can I get in on the "hoekie vir eensames"???

Work in Progress January 8, 2009 at 8:05 AM  

Lol at the title. Ure preaching to the choir here. If I hear that "M word" directed to me once this year, I may just lose it completely. I've decided that life is too comfortable and uncomplicated exactly as it is right now. I wouldn't wanna trade it for the drama just yet.

Edge Of Where January 8, 2009 at 9:23 AM  

Dig the title :) Isn't love just gut wrenching? when you have it, when you dont, when you searching for it, when it finds you when it leaves you, when you give up on it, when it gives up on you? Its still beautiful.

Zahera January 8, 2009 at 11:01 AM  

oohh love Edge's definition on "love" :-D (i have a "what is love" blog entry as my latest- so reading your post is interesting Nooj) :-P

Firstly *slaps you with a wet fish* why the hell are you worried about something like this when youre so young and carefree and busy doing things in life! (not that im implying age has anything to do with marriage btw). Youre smart, intelligent, funny and you have so much time for all this love business to come along! Just because you havent come across someone who is on the same page as you doesnt mean you wont- life has an uncanny way of throwing things at you when you least expect it.

Some people find love at 19, some at 25, some at 40- some never find it. Its the way of the world isnt it, we just dont know whats going to hit us and when, but we can hope and have realistic optimism (without it being rose tinted glasses) and pray that someday love knocks on our door and never leaves.

Nooj January 8, 2009 at 1:04 PM  

haha "but I'm tired of giving frogs air time when clearly, theres no prince or even duke in sight". thanks azra i was prepared to be a lonely mutant but its good to know there's more like me out there. i love knowing you too :)

kay we shall. i already have, and so have you. that poemn doesn't help but its beautiful

SG- we're not a hoekie, we're taking over the world! al vir een en een vir al!

wip- you're life is pretty dramatic anyways tho :P

urgh yusuf and zest- shoo away with all your hopeless romaticism lol. gut wrenching yes but not always beautiful.

zesty if anyone can convince me of love its you just coz i love your story so much, but no i'm not praying for that. i'm praying that Allah gives the world the patience to accept me the way i am.

KimyaShafinaaz January 8, 2009 at 1:19 PM  

True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.

Erich Segal

:P becos i know how much u like them quotes...

Anonymous January 8, 2009 at 1:26 PM  

love.. for it is like the wine which has the sour ingredients, but one sip leaves the craving for more and after the glass is empty, the taste lingers on, until the next time lips meets with a glass of wine.. it is like a cycle.

love.. sometimes so funny that it brings tears into my eyes.
love.. sometimes i cannot forget, and how can i, for it flows in me and not blood!

Zahera January 8, 2009 at 1:30 PM  

Bleuurggh i think ium gona puke at my own mushiness! Where did the girl who didnt believe in love go!!? *rubs eyes*

looll Nooj, think im gona have to post up my lovestory just so you can revel in the knowledge that it can happen! Very suddenly, very randomly and very beautifully! :-P

Azra January 8, 2009 at 3:19 PM  

lol you'll never be alone.

sorry to get all crude and opinionated here but I dont think love exists. i think we find love where we want to. all we really need is physical intimacy...but then again, we dont really need it because some of us have lived this long without it. And I reckon there'll be enough thrills between bunjee jumping, skydiving and chocolate.

But if people were going to get married for the sake of getting married, then "he" might as well be rich and generous or very good theres a reason to tolerate him.

Anonymous January 8, 2009 at 3:52 PM  

we find love where it is written we ll find it :D
some of it is written already remember.
and then we complain.. 'what did she see in him...' and hence the famous 'love is blind!'

The Luscious one! January 8, 2009 at 10:59 PM  

Good show!!

I recently started a blog of mine. I would love it if you would add me to your blog roll and vice verse.

Dew_drops January 9, 2009 at 12:55 AM  

This was nice...something like how I feel, but you always express these things so much better.
Ah! word verification was mango! Its a sign I tell you.

Nooj January 9, 2009 at 10:39 AM  

shafs ha ha ha i'm gonna use that one on my dad's sisters every time they say we waiting for wedding bells :p

zest- pleeease i'm waiting

azzy- true. emotional intimacy is easy to satisfy but darn physical intimacy gets a bit tricky...

seher- welcome :) u sound like rumi. sigh i sometimes think rumi must have spent loads of time in solitary confinement to see such beauty coz the humans i bump into don't always offer it. well the non female ones. but ur lines are beautiful nonetheless. maybe i should just appreciate them purely for their beauty and not try to find them in this realm...

thanks luscious

dew yes. now put a towel around your neck and lap and pull up ur sleeves and tuck in!

Anonymous January 9, 2009 at 12:29 PM  

noor now i have two standards to maintain.
gibranish from my best friend
and rumi from you...
sigh!!! HELP! me drowning ;)
Thank though. that is my required punch for the day!

my veri word: abbly

Prixie January 12, 2009 at 7:11 PM  

i liked: "hyperactive stomach prixies"

i hate the fact that people put pressure on others to be married and be in a relationship. it happpens when it happens. forcing it takes the beauty out of it and makes it a chore.

destiny has a strange sense of humour. i know