Nooj

Between my shadow and my soul

I Promise Myself

To honour Her
Keep her womanly sensitivity
that her Mother taught her
in the face of abject disregard
Hold close to the coyness
Her sisters made homes out of
Live the visions her father saw
In her innocent immature eyes
And even when all of them are gone
Gone where she cannot show them
Even then, never let down her guard
Look after their presents, their dignity
Their beauty. No matter what any man
sees in her smile or any woman assumes
In her naivety.

sans butter

i increasingly see marriage as a transaction of...convenience.
to have biological kids, to share the rent
there will be smiles, some care
he'll make fun of how ridiculous u look with ur ski goggles
u'll say his rice comes out like smash
there will be yay kisses and occasional hugs of thanks
but no dancing on rooftops in ur pj's, or titanic eyes
there will always be a part kept to you, for you, only you
with God

Hopeless Idealist for Life!!


Excerpt from the Holy Qur'an Surah 94 verse 6
Translation: Verily with every difficulty there is relief

It's been a terrible week. I had a spastic colon attack, my best friend received the worst news ever, there were violent strikes at work, I had car troubles and my dissertation refuses to transfigure into a piece of paper signed by a Dean.

And then there was Today. How do I describe it?

The feeling I had witnessing the sunrise over O.R Tambo this morning was of invincibility. Not in the Fir'aun sense. But feeling like even if I collapse after ten k's, I tried. Nothing or no-one can touch me or fill me with self-doubt if I have the will to try. And the dissenters were many, all who care too much for me. I was not doing this to prove them wrong, but to prove my instinct right. A memorable moment was when i sms'd ZubHab, saying doing this with no proper equipment or training was impossible. His reply: "Your keyboard is messed up. Your last message has the word impossible in it".Unil one am this morning I was doubtful, bludgers, hurdling towards me. Then my Dad gave me a small yet so significant gesture of confidence. There was no turning back, then.

No training. No cycling proficiency. Yet I did 50k's. Partly because it started off downhill before the damn inclines. Waseem, on the last incline I was singing Burn, mother******, burn. But also because of Ayesha.

From the word go, she was game. She encouraged me when everyone else said I was totally insane. Thanks to her banter for a constant 3 hours, riding on the highway was an adventure that can't be rivalled. She changed a flat tyre like a pro all by herself in a coupla minutes. If there is anyone I want to go backpacking in India or Africa with, or go on the Amazing Race with, it is Ayesha.

Bleeding cauterization

Life's funny. Things and people change you, when they really don't deserve to. They're not worthy of affecting your life. But they do. It's no one's fault, really. Just a combination of misguided intentions, monologous communication, insensitivity, and coincidental circumstances. That's all. They didn't really MEAN to do it. I have to believe that. It's like when you're cruising and a pothole messes up your alignment. You can't blame your tyres, or your penchant for Reeha, or your sunglases, or the sun, or the trucks, or the tar. It's all of it and consequentially none of it. Yet your alignment is messed up, and in this case your skin is raw and burning. And it will be for a while. Just accept. Stay away from them if you can't be Civil. Make du'a for them. Carry on. I will.

Soundtrack 2009

Even when everything's a little fucked up, if you believe in God, there's always a reason to smile. A little. Inwardly..